


Small Things

by Syksy



Category: Earthsea - Ursula K. Le Guin
Genre: F/M, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syksy/pseuds/Syksy
Summary: An evening. Set between Tehanu and The Other Wind.
Relationships: Ged/Tenar (Earthsea)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Small Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skywalkwithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkwithme/gifts).



> Thank you to J for the beta.

The house was cold and dark when Tenar came in. Tehanu had stayed outside to play for a while. She had been so brave on the journey, but Tenar had seen how the eyes of strangers wore her down, so she had found herself unable to refuse, even though it was very late. Tehanu had missed her secret places, her home. If she was honest with herself, Tenar had to admit she had too. They had been to Valmouth to see her other daughter, the one who was only human. She had enjoyed spending time with Apple, talking about her life and her family, seeing her happiness. She could understand that, in ways she knew she could never understand Tehanu. There was another kind of connection between them, though, something that Apple would never be able to share. At least Tenar could hope that she never would. It was good to have someone in her life that had never been touched by the dark.

"Ged?", she whispered to the darkness and then her eyes found the now familiar shape of him, huddled by the hearthstones.

"I can't get the fire to start", he said.

Just that, and softly, but she could feel his weariness, his frustration and pain in the words. 

Tenar went to him and leaned in to see. “That is because the wood is still fresh,” she said. “Those logs must be from the pile we got the week before I left, they haven’t had time to dry out yet. You forgot that you have to use the ones we bought in the spring, didn’t you?”

Ged was silent, but his silence was an answer in itself. He might have had less pride than most men Tenar knew, but he was still a man. She supposed he was allowed some foolishness. So she said nothing more and only gathered the wood and kindling from the stones. They made a sad little pile, blackened and useless. Wasted, in fact.

Suddenly she did feel angry. Just small, ordinary sort of anger that any woman might feel after a long day of travel, finding no glad welcome waiting at home. Theirs had become an ordinary sort of life, in the end. Mostly ordinary at least; there was always Tehanu. With that thought her anger was gone, fast as it had come. It was such a small thing, a cold house, a proud man. Such a small thing, compared to all that was wrong in the world. Compared to all the things that were right too.

Ged looked at her then and smiled his wry smile. “I did forget, yes. It takes so long for them to be ready to use.” It was not an apology, or a welcome, but it felt like both. His eyes said both. She smiled back at him, could not help but smile. All men are boys, somewhere deep inside, she remembered hearing once. She couldn’t say that she knew about all men, but this one definitely was. 

They made a fire, working well together, like they did most of the time these days. He had always been eager to learn and it was still sometimes a wonder to her how he never objected to any task that had to be done. And when it was clear that Tenar knew how to do a task better than he did, he followed her lead. He had no aversion at all to taking orders from a woman.

Heating up leftover stew was easy enough and Tenar decided to bake some simple bread to go with it, just to have something nice and fresh. When Ged offered her a glass of wine she took it gratefully, leaving floury fingerprints all over the cup. “Not the Dragon Year,” she said, smiling. He almost laughed, but in the end just murmured: “No, not that. But the best in Gont at least.”

“Flatterer,” she said, and then he did indeed laugh.

The meal was almost ready when Tehanu came in. She’d grown a lot this summer, Tenar noted absentmindedly. She would definitely need a new dress by Sunreturn. Maybe green, like the leaves that would follow after the light? She was budding too, after all. Not that she’d want anyone to notice it. It was getting harder for her to stay invisible, tall as she’d grown, but she still tried her best. It was a sorrow, but not one Tenar had found herself able to mend.

They sat at the table and talked. About things they still had to gather, or buy for the coming winter. About Tehanu’s kitten, who really was a cat now and a mother of her own litter of tiny balls of fluffy fur. And about a story that Ged had apparently told Tehanu just before they left. It seemed that she had thought a lot about it during the trip. Her questions were pointed, sometimes even argumentative, and Ged seemed to enjoy the challenge. Tenar did not know the story, so she was happy to just listen to the two of them. Their voices were an ocean of happiness, cresting with a wave of frustration here, a hum of agreement there. She could drift to sleep to the sound, like she’d heard sailors liked to to the sound of the sea.

I am falling asleep at the table, Tenar realized, lifting her chin from the palm of her hand, where it had ended up resting quite without her noticing. She even had trouble focusing her eyes anymore, so close were they to closing. “Better get to bed, before the two of them have a chance to laugh at the old woman who can’t even keep herself awake for a meal,” she said to herself.

So she rose, sorry to interrupt their conversation. “Don’t mind me,” she said, “you can talk all night if you like. I’m far too aware of the fact that next morning will come sooner rather than later to dawdle any more.” From their looks she could tell they thought her less a sensible adult and more a spoilsport. She sighed. It seemed that they would need more of an assurance that it truly was all right with her if they stayed up. And it was. The two of them could speak together in a manner no one else could match. It was not so much that they were in any way similar, except maybe the hurt in them. More that they had a language that no one else spoke, at least no one they met here. It might be different in Roke. She had never been to Roke.

She smiled at them and kissed Ged’s cheek lightly. “Take as long as you like, dear, I will be asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow anyway.”

In bed Tenar found herself unable to sleep after all. The day had been too busy, or the road too tiring for her old bones. Perhaps the mattress needed airing. Or maybe she missed the weight of Ged’s body next to her, his breathing even and barely audible in the night. It had been different in town, in another bed, another house. Here she was used to having him by her side. So she settled down to wait, berating herself a little for being a fool, but gently. Foolishness was not to be allowed only to men, after all.

When she felt Ged lie down next to her she reached out a hand. Without looking she found his and they twined their fingers together. You are here, it seemed to say. And I am here. Tonight, and for as many nights as we may have.


End file.
